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There’s nothing sadder than someone who’s been in Florida and is still pasty. Except maybe someone who just doesn’t know the value of a good razor. Read on for the latest research in building the perfect mustache.
Reflections On The Perfect Mustache
Growing the perfect man-stache is not as easy as it sounds. While you may be looking to use your facial hair to hide your appearance, it really helps the final product to have a well-shaped grill. Lucky for me, geometrically pleasant facial features run in my father’s side of the family, and like most things, it can be both a blessing and a curse. For most of my misspent youth, I was plagued by thin facial hair, which translated to my beard spurting out in clumps. Finally, with the help of puberty and my Gillette® Mach3® Signature Edition razor, I have mustered up a 70’s biker mustache that would make any Georgia State Trooper proud. My daughter calls it the Italian Cowboy. I like that.
We call this the General George Pickett
Steps To The Perfect Mustache:
- Grow: Let the whole face grow for a bit, and then decide which parts you need to omit. Turn back to the light, Carol Anne, when you start to look like Billy Gibbons.
- Trim: Think of your face as a priceless work of art, and get rid of all the George Michael, Sonny Crockett stubble that’s not invited to the party. Stubble got left in Bedrock and Caloo Calay; lumberjack season is open again.
- Shape: Ever shifting away from the Gandalf the Grey meets ski rescue captain, consider keeping your edges smoothed up for the Fu Manchu or the George Pickett. Styles like the Pickett or Italian Cowboy may require a little slather of bear grease to help hold the shape.
Whose look are you trying to emulate? There are tons of great mustaches out there, and you want to emulate the right one to go with your unique brand of machismo. Ed. Note: Some classic staches for your consideration include Burt Reynolds, any NASCAR driver from 1981 (especially Terry Labonte), either of the Sacketts, or Gen. George Pickett (see above). My mustache has been christened “The Intimidator.”
Here’s an example of some quality facial hair mixed in with some sad sacks.
Get ready, Freddy. The Gillette® Mach3® Signature Edition razor is equipped with DuraComfort™ Blades and Responsive Blade Suspension for comfort that lasts till the cows come home. Visit Costco Wholesale, and take a gander of the Gillette® Mach3® Signature Edition razor with 14 cartridges. It’s wise to utilize all the many resources available to you. As far as looking smooth goes, you might need all the help you can get. It may make all the difference as to whether you catch fish or not. If not, it will definitely impact whether you pick up a date or not. If your beard is disheveled, the whelks might even avoid you. It’s so difficult to sell the an unkempt look after midnight. Razors are one of the cornerstones of a civilized society. This product was purchased, with pleasure, at Costco for $36.99 and can be found in warehouses or online. Online purchases offer free shipping. You may think you look as good as you’re going to, but believe me, you can still look a little better. Now it’s possible with the Mach3®.