Welcome the the lush and fertile foothills of the Rocky Mountains, where the particularly peppy college nook of Boulder, Colorado and the University of Colorado hosted two unforgettable nights of Dead & Company 2017 Summer Tour, that tore the city into tatters and left the masses enlightened and sorely limping. Even now, the gutters remain plugged with “Loose Lucy” tank tops and the shrubberies are littered with half eaten burritos. City officials are still trying to make any sense of it all.
As always, nailtravels correspondents were on location, smack dab in the middle of the battle zone. Witnesses on the eastern heights, with its advantageous vantage point of the engagement, have finally begun coming forward and testifying as to exactly who was to blame. The loudest voices and fattest fingers are now pointing to a former member of our own legal team, currently on administrative leave in Gunnison, Colorado. Allegedly, several declassified documents have linked his office with the Vietnamese mafia in Tomball and Boulder’s white slave trade road. Hushed voices. Something about insane people getting together. Boulder Clams?
What the hell does that even mean? Does that sound like it makes any sense at all? Heckfire no. But not one moment of this whole idiotic excursion has. Maybe it was never suppose to. It was certainly supposed to have a spare tire and now those days are long past. The good news about the exploding tire in Dalles, OR is that the spare is so much newer than any of the others. So while we drive around with no spare, the left-rear tire is really looking good.
At each stop on the Dead and Co. Summer Tour, our staff and the team at Golden Road Goodies have joined forces in an effort to corner the entire Shakedown St. market. Lazlo definitely had a head start with his embroidered Jerry Garcia guitar design shirts. Le purr. Take a gander at his puddling artwear on the Facebook site, Golden Road Goodies. Baitbucket, Chacharina and Lucienda had been setting up tents next to him since Las Vegas, and were having little success selling their shinola. It had been an ongoing experiment to see if they could sell something that people would actually want. At present, the hypothesis had been ultimately disproven.
I should have checked the bags.
He switched bags on me again, just like he did in Miami. That time I was stuck with socks and he ended up with all the dope. This time I ended up with tie straps and he got away with the money.
It wouldn’t be the first or last time someone got robbed by a friend and business partner. It just meant that funds got scant on the way from Salt Lake City to Boulder. Something mystic about the blasting heat and barren remoteness of the Utah and Wyoming desert makes everything a little more “sporting”, as Pud would suggest. It all got a little prickly as you can tell from this page of notes in the daily log:
“Lucy’s in the backseat again, pissed as usual. Portland Oregon looks green and cool. It kind of looks clean and I certainly need to wash off that stink. How did I end up hauling a giant negro all the way from Shoreline to Portland? That was definitely not plan A and this is not the road to Salt Lake City. My path, if a man needs one, is on 85 East, past the expanse of Mt. Hood and the Dalles, back east to the interior of the Rockies and Colorado mountain bluegrass heaven. The last of the Japanese investment just got sucked into $9,000 worth of Dead t-shirts purchased from that scumbag chiseler. They are now considered stolen and are likely hidden, deep down in his Silents of the Lambs van. I have cedar walking sticks wrapped with Grandma’s cheap Naugahyde, bone bracelets made from endangered whatever, and strawberry lime moonshine we’ve been lugging around since Statenville, Georgia that has become a bit tart. Damn it. Check that, the moonshine is with Thatcher in the back of his truck. He got off the road somewhere in Redding, CA to sell his soul for an angry back rub and a dram of something green and frothy. He’s passing up the Salt Lake and Boulder shows just so he can enter his pit bull in Shasta County dog fights. It’s one of the few places in the country where it’s not only legal but sponsored by city officials. Depending on how that turns out, he’s supposed to meet back up with Lucy, Thunderbird, and myself in Telluride. 85% chance of turbulent puddles.
Lazlo, who in Vegas had cracked an Irish man named Sliman in the face with a pool cue, was moving faster than usual, and was already in Salt Lake City for the next show. How will he do anything without a sherpa? Will he hire some monkeys or a cute Chacharina to help him hall around his metric ton of gibberish. He’ll find some twisted way to success. That kid is lucky to be breathing free air and he’s always been a problem solver.
here pages have been ripped out of the journal
cont…Salt Lake City was a fantastic show. We sat on the grass and held hands through the entire second set. We tried to stay near each other as we drove from Salt Lake City to Boulder. We were going to first grab some gas and beer for the long drive through the night. I knew I didn’t have enough gas or money to make it to Boulder and yet there was no way we were going to be able to stay together all night. Another solution would need to present itself. That just doesn’t happen over long distances. With spaces between gas stations like this, it’s always best to have more than a half a tank at all times. With -$60 in the account and -$25 on my credit card. $40 on the other credit card but that was in Lazlo’s wallet when it was stolen in North Texas. No money now and I guess I’m in Wyoming. Sold the Penn rod and reel for fifteen bucks to a Mexican in Flaming Gorge. Don’t know if it’s Wyoming or Utah, but it’s pretty. Should have sold him the Gander rig instead. It was a piece of garbage but it was in good condition. The Penn looked all beat to shinola but it was in stellar condition. That slime still wouldn’t give me thirty bucks for it. What’s the difference when it comes to driving through the entire state of Wyoming? I still don’t have enough to get to Boulder. And what use does he have with a salt water rig on the banks of the Green River? Good luck catching your brown trout, you crocker.
He parted with fifteen which was just fine at the time, since I was just sitting in a park taking nude pictures of Lucy. I don’t want to sell the guitars, the mandolin, or the fiddle. I don’t want to sell the bike or the gun. I’ll sell the dog, the moonshine, the dope and the camping gear, but I can’t imagine anybody wants that trash groundscored only months earlier. There’s a little more than a quarter tank of petrol and I’m headed to a place called Red Desert. Don’t know if there’s a place to stop, much less a Western Union so I can pick up the money my accountant is trying to wire me. Scotty Smiles would say life is good. He would be wrong.
Big one in Boulder last night. Rack ’em up for round two! ⚡️⛰ https://t.co/BIrbwKIHx8
— John Mayer (@JohnMayer) June 10, 2017
Boulder Shakedown Tips and Tricks:
- Which Shakedown? During special venues, multiple areas of Boulder give themselves up to become Shakedown Street. These shows were at the University of Colorado football stadium so most of the parking lot surrounding the stadium was filled with merchants and vendors. These spots were around $125 a piece, with paved surface and distinct security presence.
Lazlo set up his shirt stand in another Shakedown a few blocks away, in a church parking lot. It was $25 for a space, with Earthen surface and no security presence. With special events happening all over town, there were specialized Shakedown Streets everywhere, pawning everything from hat pins to carved tree trunks.
- Parking: This is pretty difficult in Boulder, but when is parking easy around a football stadium? Didn’t your father teach you anything? There is a free parking area that Colorado students were telling us about, but we never found it. We parked about seven blocks away from Shakedown St. in a deceptively small space made just for the Adventure Wagon. If you’re willing to walk a little, you won’t have a problem.
- Selling: Burritos seemed like a great idea. Black beans, cabbage, lettuce, rice, corn and the final touch, jalapeno cream sauce. What wasn’t considered was the cabbage. I seemed like a good idea at the time but the final product had an acidy taste. Guess you’re suppose to boil that cabbage down. It wasn’t entirely easy to give a free burrito away. That is the extreme depth of sad.
- Clams Aplenty: Folks don’t usually think of clams when they think Boulder, but times they are a changin’. From Longmont to Lafayette, the Clam Mafia was in force celebrating the Dead & Co. Summer Tour the best way they know how. Loudly and together. Having now broken their one and only rule, I will soon be joining the witness relocation program, hopefully somewhere in South Florida.
Dead & Company Setlist at Folsom Field, Boulder, CO 6/9/17
Dancing in the Street
Cold Rain and Snow
Hell in a Bucket
New Speedway Boogie
The Music Never Stopped
Eyes of the World
Let It Grow
The Other One
Touch of Grey
Dead & Company Setlist at Folsom Field, Boulder, CO 6/10/17
Ramble On Rose
Friend of the Devil
Turn On Your Love Light
Help on the Way
China Cat Sunflower
I Know You Rider
One More Saturday Night
Shakedown Street in Salt Lake City was blustery fun with the mountains in the background and a 94 degree afternoon wind blowing everything higgly-piggly. It tied the EZ-up into a horseman’s knot around Lazlo’s van and all afternoon I was forced to drink warm Natural Light. The horror….the horror. The wind blew so hard that the canopy could only be held down by large rocks, which naturally ended up splashing in the grease pit next door and dousing most of our t-shirt investment in rank fry grease. The over sized tarp from Hulaween didn’t fit the frame and flapped viciously in the steady wind. As it increased, it lifted the cnopy from the ground and slammed it into both sides of Lazlo’s fan, shearing the paint straight down to the tires. With a broken driver’s door, passenger window and hatchback door, it’s an unreasonable hell to sit in that van with no air-conditioning. Jman had to do it for four hours in 112 degree traffic, all the way from the Phoenix show to LA. And the window wouldn’t go down. Kill me…please.
The next innovation will be to try and sell burritos for the two shows in Boulder. It sounds unbelievably silly out loud. We still have an obscene can of black beans that David left for us in Live Oak…”
Headcount: HeadCount organizes “Participation Row” social-action villages and charity auctions at major live music events, with help from sponsors Qello and Clean Energy Advisors. The results – tens of thousands of actions taken, and nearly $1 million raised for 35 non-profit organizations. At the Grateful Dead’s 50th anniversary concerts in 2015, a signed guitar fetched over $500,000, making national news.
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These are to be our last shows of Dead and Company Summer Tour 2017 tour, and what a ride it’s been. From Las Vegas to Boulder, it’s been moving at Japanese people speed.
This is where the nailtravels crew will divide our forces. Like General Thomas Jackson, we will cut in two, an already scant company, and attack on both flanks. Dead and Company Summer Tour 2017 heads to Atlanta and Stone Mountain, while the rest of us are headed south to Salida and to the next stop on the road at the Telluride Bluegrass Festival.
This Dead and Company Summer Tour has been some of the most silly fun of this entire odyssey. The music, the fans, and the energy has been exactly like it always was, and being older and a little more seasoned, some were downright sideways. The crowds were energetic and bubbly fun. It was a blast watching Deadheads lose their control as their songs came on one at a time. It was a new direction following Oteil Burbridge and Jeff Chimenti and falling more in love with their music. Loose Lucy, a John Mayer fan since “Continuum” has been giddy with slippery excitement watching Johnny and Bobby bounce together like babies in the breeze. Just keep paying more attention to Bill Kreutzmann and realize how much funk he keeps bringing. Thank you boys for a swell time. Nobody’s going anywhere so we will see you around the office.
View to the North from Methodist Mountain Salida, Colordado