What is the Dead Cat Society? Why are they carrying around these cats covered in buttons, beads, and all manner of silly paraphernalia? How do we get rid of these filthy savages, or better yet….How do I join?
It would begin with a dead cat. It always does. Hit by some 17″ steel belted radial on Caroline St. in Key West, Florida. Long forgotten and lost is who first noticed the unfortunate casualty as they sloppily pedaled their bikes past Fausto’s, to a breakfast of Bloody Mary’s and omelets at Pepe’s, but it would herald the beginning of something quite queer. And vexing. So, so vexing.
Drinks high! A toast to my dead cat! To my brother! To the dead cat in every man and woman and the hard left straight into scant bladder control. Cheers!
The celebration of that first dead cat was the tolling bell and the inception of the Dead Cat Society. Since 1992, the dead cats have been hauled around, like dirty propane tanks, in search of fellowship, frivolity, and ultimately socio-political change.
Are you spiritually “on the fence” and looking for answers? Christians and Jews, Republicans and Democrats? Finally, there’s something real that can unite us as one. Don’t be afraid to fall of that fence. Or wagon. Fall as far or little as you need. Welcome home weary traveler. You’ve been taking yourself far too seriously
What is the Dead Cat Society?
Events: From concerts, to sporting events and Civil War reenactments, an event is judged by how many dead cats attend. They were there when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. They were at Waterloo and Gettysburg. Think of how cool it will be to have another war just so you can take your dead cat. Dead cats have been at attendance at Braves, Marlins, and Red Sox games with an older generation recalling cat tosses at spring training games when they were still on the grassy knoll. Pink Floyd, the Allman Brothers, and Grandpa’s Couch Medicine have all allowed dead cats into their shows with there being a natural affinity toward parrot head parking lots.
Vacations: Vacations are about photos and the DCS spreads its gospel through photos and testimonials. Dead Cat Society photos have been taken from the side of Mount Kilimanjaro to the cobble streets of Spain. Dead cats went up with the last three shuttles and one remains on the moon. How far are you willing to take your cat?
DCS Gatherings: Check your local news sources for upcoming DCS gatherings in your area. At least two “gatherings” are scheduled for Live Oak, FL in October 2016. An “officially sanctioned” DCS event is defined as “any place or sense of place whereby two or more official dead cats are present”.
To sponsor an official DCS event, post a comment to this article or the Facebook page. It can be a serious thing getting a few dead cats together and it’s not for the faint of heart. From the first failed resuscitations on Duval Street to the lower latitudes of Panama, the Dead Cat Society is claiming its own place in America’s patchwork quilt of silliness.
Dead cats have been spotted at some of the most pivotal moments in recent history. The recent sightings at the the Helsinki Peace Accords was covered by the mainstream media as well as the usual pulp fiction outlets. At present, dead cats “live” in every corner of the U.S. with Australia about to receive its first official dead cat. Where else would you send a criminal? Gosh, these are exciting times.
Join the Dead Cat Society Facebook Page today and find out how you can spread the word. As the movement continues to spread, feel free to stand on the shoulders of giants. You’ll children will never know a day where dead cats can’t get married in Floridaand their children may see a day when you can legally smoke your own dead cat.
Interested in becoming an official member of the “Dead Cat Society” and locking arms with an army of like-minded fools? Are you ready with the responsibility that comes from owning a real dead cat? Congratulations, you’re hired. Leave a comment on this post or leave a message on our Facebook page and we’ll get you hooked up. Pick your own style and color, or pick from our extended litter. No cat too large, no price too large. What makes a dead cat special is what it picks up over time. Like a stinky scrap book, it collects what you’re not allowed to wear to work. Where will yours go? What statement will it make?
It can only get weirder for here. If you have a recent DCS story or photograph, leave comments on the article and posts photos on the FB page. Namaste.